

One of the first things I loved about him was the kindness I saw on his face when he looked at his dogs because I knew that he knew that dogs are too good for us. One of the first things we connected over was how absolutely, completely, absurdly spoilt our dogs were. My boyfriend Ben had Poppy and Pingu when we met, and I had had Loki for a decade at that point. They have a steady supply of toys, treats, and a healthy diet (sans the chicken nuggets). They go for long walks morning and evening before cuddling up with their humans at night. They have never pined – we always come home to find them contentedly dozing up on the lounge. Lest you worry, gentle reader, the dogs themselves are quite content. READ ALSO Goulburn restaurant’s design a trendsetter in its time We usually leave parties early so they don’t pine. Walks are on a complicated roster around our irregular work schedules because it is just too difficult to walk 80 kg of dog with three heads and 12 legs alone. With three of them, there’s always a vet bill. Holidays are planned around how much money we have left after the most recent vet bill. We chose our lounge because it was big enough to comfortably fit both of us and all three of them. The dogs must be taken into account in every decision. She’s always remorseful about the teddy bear, and it’s been sewn up more times than I can count. She snarls ferociously and destroys her teddy bear. Pingu’s attacks on the vacuum cleaner were so dedicated she now has to be crated when it comes out. Loki valiantly attacks it as it moves across the carpet before going to comfort Poppy. When it comes out, Poppy cries and hides in another room. And I applaud that idea in theory, but honestly, when there are three of them, you learn to conserve your energy for important battles. You might suggest we not let the dogs sleep on the bed. READ ALSO Laurie Fisher calls time on his career with the Brumbies Neither of us dares roll over in our sleep anymore. If any of them wake up, all three must get off the bed, get back onto the bed and do complex calculations about whether they can fit into the same spot they were fast asleep in not 10 minutes ago, before beginning the laborious process of actually lying down and getting comfortable. Poppy kicks, Loki snores and Pingu always, always needs to wee at 3 am. Apparently, children grow out of needing to sleep in your bed, but dogs do not. She is convinced the world exists to serve her as she is very busy keeping both Poppy and Loki under close supervision at all times. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them he has to be bribed into vet visits with McDonald’s.Īs he’s getting older, he needs more vet visits, hence more McDonalds, hence the ‘mystery’ weight gain.Īnd there’s Pingu, a 22 kg English Bull Terrier. He’s recently reached 24 kg, much to the concern of the vet. READ ALSO A million bucks for ‘Writing the Struggle for Sioux Modernity’? Damn right some ARC grants should have been vetoed
